Keeping My Goal and Promise

It is already day 15 and six and a half miles this week so far. My goal right now is 15 miles. I think I should be able to do it. I missed Monday, because of Labor Day, actually it was just because I wanted to take the day off of running and hang with the family. My day started off with my playlist choices. My choice today, Country list. I had a need to hear a little Sugarland, Taylor, and Lady A.. It was that kind of day. Glad I did too, this was one of the furthest runs that I have done in a long time. Three and a half miles while pushing a stroller sounds pretty good. I took a break in between so that Burke could have play time on the playground at the park, but I was running around with her there too! I still have not muscled up to weighing myself on a scale, but I will soon.

If I'm trying to work out and counting every calorie I take in... I have decided that I am counting every calorie that I expel as well. I feel that it should be counted that if you run all over the playground with your year and a half old than you have done a little bit of a work out. I don't mean that I'm going to count it the same as if I was actually running, but I am going up and down stairs, I am sliding down poles, I am going down slides.. I think that I have put out a few more calories than a mom who is just sitting on the bench watching her child and reading a book. (Not that there is anything wrong with doing that, it is just not me.) Sorry, dailyburn.com, I want at least 115 calories burned for playing with my kid. That is not too much to ask for. Right?

Another Good Run...

Here it is day... day 10 and I have been doing my part. I have not weighed myself. But on the other hand I am making the effort to work out. I have finally found my groove with the workouts. I have joined a dailyburn.com group called weight loss in 30 days. I have also ran ... get this... 12 miles this week! that is a pretty big deal for me. Usually, when I try and start running/jogging. I burn out by day two or three. I have ran consistently for four days. So I am now hitting my stride.

I have also come to the realization... I DO NOT HATE RUNNING! I do not necessarily LOVE it, but I am finally at the thought that I do not hate it. In fact I genuinely like it. This is a big step for me. For so long I have despised doing any running of any sort. I would swim, kick box, do yoga, Pilate's, WII fit... whatever else... except running. I think that finally falls back on the fact that it is free, I can do it with Burke (as long as she is occupied) and I now have a FABULOUS play list for my workouts. It really gives me that extra energy that I need.

Also, I think that I have realized, "I do not care what people think." I say that only because when I am out running I am always running around the neighborhood, a park or the beach and there are always people around. If you are like me and you have a few insecurities you think to yourself, "I wonder if this person is thinking, 'wow she has a lot to work off' or 'why is SHE running.' " I say that because I have probably said it about some one else. I realized I need to do this for ME and me alone... oh and you of course, who ever you are. I just do not seem to care about the other person any more. I also think that has made me less cynical, crazy as it sounds. When I see someone running now, I think "good for you buddy" or "at least she is out there."

I am working harder everyday, I am working out, eating better, and doing just a little more. I am in now way about to do something crazy and join a runners club or anything. I am not at that point. Besides for me that is when it stops being "fun". I am in awh of anyone that CAN do that, it is just not my style. I had a boss recently that put it into perspective for me. She was single, no kids so the runners club worked for her. I asked her how she liked it and she said: "Megan, I love to eat. I run so I can eat! I ran 6 miles yesterday and when I got home I ate six-pack of Sprinkles cupcakes as my dinner." My thought when she told me that was "good for her." I am not on that level yet. I am still on the thought of I am going to set a goal to run 15 miles this week so I may have a little less junk in my trunk! I hope to get to the point that she is at but I know it will not be for quite a while. For me... I run so I can lose my butt and stomach and then start to eat what "I" want.

Five Factors of Running

I feel like I have actually worked for this. I am working for this blog. Crazy, right? I have found that there are five main factors that contribute to me being successful at run/walking/jog. I am able now to run/walk/jog over 3 miles without feeling horrible for the following three days. I have been working out almost everyday for about a week without any issues and I am actually feeling good. I have been trying to do my P90X whenever possible but with a year and a half old it makes things a little difficult. so here is what I have found DOES work!

1. NO WIND: I found that when there is wind where I live it makes running SO much more difficult than it needs to be.

2. A JOGGER WITH PUMPED UP TIRES: I think this is the best thing ever. there is nothing worse on a jog than not being able to jog because the tires are flat.

3. HYDRATION: Enough said.

4. A WILLING JOGGING PARTNER: My daughter needs to be in a happy mood or I will not be able to get through the jog. that means, giving her something to snack on, play with and something to drink so that I may get through my miles. Followed by plenty of play time for her.

And finally.... The most important thing to me is

5. A GREAT PLAY LIST: My music is SO IMPORTANT to me. I have currently 6 play lists which I play depending on my mood. If I have the right music I could go for 12 miles... my body might hate me after but the music would keep me going! Today, I needed to hear all of my favorites (workout list 2) which includes: "the kill," "sex on fire," "sober," and "can't hold us down". To make it even more interesting I put the play list on shuffle! I got me through even faster than I expected.

So with all that I have learned, what works for me may work for you. But I just know what is right for me is taking everything a step at a time. My workout needs to be different everyday or I will fall into the trap that I have been in for way too long. I am not about to go back there. I will just keep trekking along and soon I know I will see results.

Fact is Fact... or.. Fat is Fat!

So here I am starting off fresh. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful 19 month old, a fun job at Trader Joe's, a growing Photography business and a constantly expanding waste line! I was never "small" from what I remember. As early as eight years old, I remember eating vegetables and dip at Christmas and my aunt sat me down to let me know if I don't keep myself in check I will end up to be fat and unhappy with myself. Well she was right in one aspect, I'm larger than I could have ever thought that I would let myself get; but I'm happy with my life and who I am! As I grew up from that moment further; food, exercise and weight has been a constant struggle in my life. I am always trying to find the balance.

I have tried weight loss plans, weight watchers, books, videos, DVDS, classes, trying it on my own, sports, friends, ... You name it, I have tried it! Here is where it all began. I started at age 11 being about a size 0 then 1 then getting older I grew up to be a bit larger and being "athletic!" I got to the point I was a size 10 in college; freshman 15. (Although in my case it was 20-25 and I was a junior/senior in college) I was working five jobs and taking 22 units. I was doing more than I should have been. Than came my career, I was working at the retirement home constantly. always on the go and had lots of stress from work. I was just about to move in with my best friend! Life was getting better and turning into more of a reality. I was on my way to a size 10-12 and was getting to be too much for myself. I got a personal trainer, taught kickboxing, joined another gym and joined weight watchers with my friend. I got down to a gorgeous size 8 and met John, my wonderful, handsome husband. I got "comfortable" with our life together dinners out, missing a workout here and there, sleeping in, which meant once again, I let myself go a bit. My wedding day, I was back to a size 12 but okay with it.

Two and a half years later my waste line is nonexistent because I was pregnant. I LOVED being pregnant. I was okay with being a little larger because I was bringing life into this world. and let me tell you I was ALL belly. I gained only 35 pounds but it was all my midsection from my butt to my chest I was huge! I was only able to teach kickboxing for a short while, I had a few issues with my pregnancy, migraines, which were just killers! They took me off work, I was not able to work out, and I just "hung out" all the time. Letting the baby and myself get bigger and bigger. I just kept telling myself, "I am just going to lose ALL the weight, and the extra weight when the baby is born." Then the day comes where I get to hold my beautiful daughter in my arms, nurse her (after all nursing burns calories) and look at her and know that I gained all the extra, well deserved weight for her. I had BAD knees after my pregnancy which did not allow me to try and lose the weight so I was at a size 16. I was in physical therapy for over a year and was just getting to know my daughter, Burke. I started at Trader Joe's about 5 months after Burke was born and the food, although it was healthy, it is EASY to make the wrong decisions too. I wanted to do something for myself and go back to school, so what better thing to do when you want to lose weight, take a Cake Decorating Class!!! I have tipped the scale a couple of pounds shy of 200 and between a size 16-18.

So here is where it stands. I love to cook and bake. I love sweets and salts. I love grocery shopping and tasting new things. It is hard to make dinner for your family when some of your family are VERY picky eaters. I have tried losing the weight for my daughter, for my husband, for my family, for my job and for myself. I have tried to lose it before a challenge (Warrior Dash) and before a cruise. Nothing seems to go right when it comes to my weight, food or exercise. I have restarted P90x three times and I have a pole in my garage that still needs to be setup. I need help!

I need to find a way to get truly serious about losing the weight. I saw a picture of myself with a bunch of people in it and realized that I was the largest one. That is when it hit me, I need to make a serious change! So here is the start of my journey. I will jot down everything I do from eating to exercise in my daily burn log. then I will post, (as often as I can) my progress, which I hope there is some of. I want to be a better wife, mom, and woman. I want to be back to a comfortable weight and be comfortable with getting my picture taken! I do not want food to be the enemy and I WANT to learn to love to workout and let it NOT feel like a workout. I am going to start off fresh, clean slate, here we go!

Cake Decorating Class

So far so good. I have embarked on a new journey in my life, cake decorating! I love it, I suck at it, but still I love it! Actually, I love baking more thank any other part of it, but to be a good baker, when it comes to anything other than a good cookie or brownie, you must be able to do a cake! So I have now had four classes (three REAL classes) and completed my 1st cake for class! I am figuring out pretty much all of it but i feel like certain times I have a "heavy or light hand" for certain things. Like shells, I hate doing shells; where as rose buds, not so bad. so here is a picture of what is to be "my finished product."

This cake had everything. French vanilla cake, which was very light and airy. Cream cheese filling, as good as it gets. A very light butter cream icing, which tasted lovely. After all was said and done, I completed the class for the evening and was bringing the cake home! Carrying it in my 9x13 cake carrying case, I returned a text from my husband to let him know I was on my way home from Long Beach City College to Westminster. With a slight of hand, I accidently tilt the box and the cake slides to the wall of the box. Without opening the box, I gently nudge the box the other way. Good the cake is okay... or so I thought. As I'm driving home I realize that the top half of my cake has slip in half and it is sliding down slowly exposing the awesome cream cheese filling! At this point there is nothing I can do, I just have to laugh about how much it SUCKED! I get home try to fix the cake for what it is worth, because I was proud of my POS cake and wanted to show it to John. All and all, the cake TASTED MUCH BETTER than it looked!

Now for the second part of my new journey. With this new love of baking, and cake decorating I must get back to my core... athletics. I use to be very active so I have decided that I need a new "something". I have to get rid of these calories some how so here it is... running and walking! Everyday to every other day I have been run/walking 3 miles.. I'm training for a run in April and hope that I can just COMPLETE it! Post pregnancy my body went though so much that it is not the same. I have not been able to get back to kickboxing, Pilate's, Sfactor... I just need a good place to start, something I can do with my beautiful daughter, Burke, by my side. So here it is we crank up the tunes, take the jogger and move our booties! while we are out, she gets to enjoy a little extra time on the swings!

Meringue Mistakes

Well I have found that after you caramelize the to of meringue, you need to let it "set." Okay, so here is my issue, I made a chocolate meringue tart

names after my daughter, "Burke's Chocolate Meringue Tart", and I did not allow enough time

for it to set. But the real issue was not the "setting" the real issue was that i didn't have my oven high enough to brown the meringue so instead when it finally was "brown," the meringue was hard and the filling, chocolate cream, melted through the crust! This was not my day! Speaking of, this was Christmas eve when I was putting on dinner for 10 people! That

On the up side, I made a wonderful cherry pie that was great for Christmas eve dessert. We did end up eating the chocolate meringue tart for dessert as well,, and although it was not the prettiest thing... the tart was quite good! My lesson in meringue today... get a small hand torch from ace hardware (since it is better than the one in the kitchen stores) and do meringue that way.

As for Christmas day, after learning my lesson about meringue, I decided to do a chocolate CREAM pie instead. That came out much better and much more appetizing. I love baking and can't wait to do more things, i just need to be more careful about my "creations."

I love to try new things with my style of baking. I am always up for new creations and love trying something different. Next on the agenda.... cake decorating class! I'm going to take that class in February and hope that I can do well.

Fashionista!

So first off it has been WAY too long since I have posted anything. Sometimes it truly is just hard to find the time, amazing to think that "blogging" would actually be a luxury. It is crazy to think that in just over a month I'm going to have a 1-year-old! It is surprising and shocking to me that my life has changed so much in this past year and she has become such a fantastic, beautiful edition to our family. Which brings me up to the fashions of tomorrow... that I'm afraid of what this world is coming to and what my daughter could potentially be a part of. I do not want to be a pill, I just need a set of blogging to "vent," after all, that is what blogging is right?

Now that it is getting cold I think a few things need to be set straight, in the way of fashion. I would never claim to be a "Fashionista" of any type. I mean come on, my uniform is basically jeans and a women's style t-shirt. I may sometimes include a sweatshirt or mix it up and do a sweater; but over all I do not make it a point to be up to date with fashion. My two best friends are fabulous when it comes to the newest trends and what is "hot," I am not one of those people; I wish I was, but the reality is, I'm not. Now that I have let you know that; let me get to my point. Something needs to be said for the train-wrecks that I'm seeing today. Anna (one of my best friends) and I were talking one day and found that there are a couple of basic rules when it comes to fashion. First off, "If you wore it the first time around, you CANNOT wear it again." What does that mean, you ask? If you wore the bubble skirt, the flannel (and you are not a lumberjack), the Band-dress or the jelly shoes... the first time around, you cannot wear them again.

I do not know what to do or what I should tell my daughter when she is 12 years old and her friends are wearing tiny mini-skirts and UGGs. First off, they are not cute; they are suppose to be "functional." Second, this is Southern California, it barely rains and never snows. Unless you are going to big bear or camping in the snow on a regular basis, you should not be wearing them. If you are like my sister-in-law and living in Canada; you should feel free to wear them or you are like my friend, autumn, who travels to the northeast on a regular basis; otherwise it is like wearing a fleece vest, "my arms are not cold, but my chest is." In other words, it makes "NO SENSE."

So, today I was with some friends hanging out in a sweatshirt and jeans (of course), and who should walk by me but a pack of women in the "should not" category that I'm talking about. It was just one right after the other. Another rule, if you are in your twenties you are not allowed to wear "odd numbers" on your clothes, 1,3,5,7,9... Those are clothes in the "junior" section and you are no longer a "junior," deal with it! So these women who were walking by could have been pretty, relaxed women emphasis on relaxed! One, was wearing the UGG/short-shorts combo that I am talking about, the other wearing the "junior" clothes, and finally the third was wearing a bright blue shirt that had word, "meercats" with pictures of them underneath. I do not want to seem judgemental, and I hope I am not coming off that way too much. It is just you could tell these women COULD help it. You could tell that they were actually trying to look good they had the intention, it was just poorly executed for one thing they were over the age limit of all three looks. In fact, I am over the age limit of all three looks.

Seriously, to everyone out there, (and the few that may read this) "Please buy a mirror and actually use it before you leave the house. If you do not have a mirror, get a friend, partner, spouse, mom or just SOMEONE who can give you the thumbs up or thumbs down on your ensemble." Good luck and happy shopping!